About Me

Intro


I'm Alex, a geek, dork, nerd and overall tech kind of guy from New Hampshire.
Professionally, I work as a computer systems infrastructure engineer for an ISP.
In my spare time I enjoy using and tinkering with computers and networking, testing pre-release software and playing games.
I also enjoy word and jigsaw puzzles, listening to heavy metal and reminiscing nostalgically about the 1990s.




Essentials


· Gender: Male
· Sex: I like it! (Just kidding. Straight male.)
· Relationship: Happliy married to the girl I crushed on in the fourth grade. (Love you babe.)
· Favorite Color: Blue
· Favorite Music Genre: Metal
· Favorite Car Brand: Chevrolet
· Favorite Computer Brands: Apple and Asus
· Favorite Mobile Device Brands: Apple and Samsung
· Favorite Game Franchise: Doom
· Favorite TV Programs: Documentaries mostly.
· Favorite Movie Genre: Horror
· Favorite Foods: Mexican, Chinese
· Favorite Liquor: Smirnoff Vodka
· Favorite Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon (Because I'm classy like that.)
· Favorite Soft Drink: Mountain Dew
· Politics: Liberal as fuck! (But guns are cool.)
· Favorite Pet: Cats. They're smarter than dogs, but more like people. They don't drag you outside in the snow to go poop.


Opinions


· Buying a house: Overrated. Spend six-plus-figures on a hole in the ground at which you vomit more money. Nothing beats the combo of a great landlord you can trust and kind neighbors who look after each other.
· Horses: For one, "horse girls" are nuts. Fucking crazy. Literally insane. Four-legged money shredder that only creates worry, debt and manure. More countries should legalize eating them. There, I said it.
· "Man-trucks": Big rigs for short bro-dawgs with tiny cocks and even smaller brains. Ruins the environment rapidly. They'll pass everything but a gas station!
· Harleys: "OK Google, show me 'Real American motorcycles'" Yup, they're cool. Fight me.
· Race: There's only one: Human. Treat everyone with respect.
· Politicians: Most of them suck. There are a few good exceptions but the majority lie their way into office then do nothing until their terms end.
· Lawyers: See Politicians.
· Law enforcement, firefighters, medics, military: See the definition of Hero and treat them all with the highest level of respect. You'll thank them one day when they save your ass.
· Violent movies, books and games: Hell yes! There's no link between violence in entertainment and real life. Enjoy something gory!
· Always having the latest tech gadgets: Unnecessary unless your job is to review them. I'd say stick with what you have until it's no longer useful. Old tech can be repurposed or given away.
· Tattoos: Personal choice. I like them. Each body is born clean with yards of available canvas. No different than putting stickers on your car. Express yourself if you want to.
· Piercings / Body modifications: See Tattoos.
· Dating: Bullshit. Glad I won't have to do that ever again. I hate doing sales. Engineers suck at lying.
· Docker: The lazy way for shitty developers who know nothing about the systems their products will be deployed on to package applications in a little black box that nobody gets to see the inside of.
· DevOps: The people who over-complicate everything and say it's better just because they can.
· Engineers: People who spend their career solving problems you never knew existed in ways you never imagined. Their work is accurate guesswork based on incomplete information from people who know nothing about the subject they talk about.
· Gamers: My kinda people!
· Chevy's car lineup: Good riddance to the Malibu but for fuck's sake why'd you shit-can the Cruze and the Corvette? They still have more SUVs than the car park at a little league game though. Balls.
· Ford trucks: Pickups that look like cars and have shitty seats. Their commercial trucks are fine though.
· Apple: Good. People who list of all the things a Mac can't do have clearly not owned one or learned about them.
· Microsoft: Also good. Innovators in smart ways to license commercial software. Creators of MS-DOS, where the best games are played best.
· Accents: Everyone has one. Even the people who say they don't have an accent, have an accent. I have a New England accent. Gets better with alcohol. Wife says "pup-corn" - Her accent is adorable. Each generation that comes along, localized accents diminish slightly. Hope accents can survive society.
· The modern Internet: Straight trash. As our connections grow more robust, code gets more bloated and sites become movies. If you cannot load a site completely at 56K in under a minute, you did it wrong.